Message from President Alan

Hi All

Hope you are all well and able to get out in this lovely sunshine!!!!!

Our president, Alan Mabey, has asked me to send out the message below to everybody about the use of the clubhouse:

“Although there has been further guidance issued by Bowls England, it is still the committee’s decision that members should not use our clubhouse, except in an emergency to obtain the first aid box or defibrillator or to use the toilet. However, if the toilet is used, then people should use the wipes provided (in the tub outside the toilets) to wipe down anything that is touched. Paper towels are also provided for you to dry your hands. Members should not leave any equipment or bags inside the clubhouse.

Also, please remember to take away any rubbish, e.g. cans, water bottles, at the end of your session so that others do not have to pick them up and therefore risk the chance of the virus being passed on.

I appreciate that this does cause some inconvenience to players, but we are trying our best to keep everyone as safe as possible. We will be having a further committee meeting early in August to talk about this matter again but, if you wish to discuss this further with me, please contact me on 07919 520237.”



Monthly Draw

Good morning to you all.

Please don’t panic, it’s not another Newsletter!! Sadly, when you see 500,000 people on the packed beaches of Dorset, Liverpool fans celebrating their League title or the number of illegal raves that are taking place, it might not be long before we are in lockdown again and I’ll be looking for more crummy jokes for you!!

Anyway, it’s been raining later so all the gardeners amongst will be happy and I’m even happier watching Wolves beat Aston Villa on Saturday.

At our ZOOM Committee meeting, we have decided to set up a Members’ Monthly Draw.  All members wishing to take part in this will need to pay Steve Morris our Treasurer, £15 by the end of July. We will not be able to take any monies after July 31st.

Starting in August, and for the next 12 months, we will draw a winning name out of a hat. This draw will be done at our Committee meetings. The PRIZE each month obviously depends on the number of participants. The more members who join this draw will mean a bigger monthly prize. Once we know how many members have entered our draw I’ll be able to let you know what the monthly prize will be. As well as being a bit of fun for our Club, and for one lucky winner, it is obviously a chance to make money for the Club. We obviously are not going to make our usual money from hosting touring games, so any means of helping our funds is good news.

If you would like to enter our monthly draw you will need to:

Pay £15 directly into our Club account via online banking – this is our preferred method of payment.

If you are unable to do this, Steve Morris will be happy to accept a cheque for £15, payable to Cowes Medina Bowls Club.

PLEASE will you also e-mail me , to let me know you are in the Monthly Draw. Thank you.

I hope this is clear ….. any questions please call me.



Thank you



Hi All

This is to let you know that, following a number of requests from members, the committee has decided that we can play Triples on rinks as from this Monday, 22 June. Although it was due to be discussed at next Friday’s meeting, it was felt that Triples could go ahead sooner than planned.

HOWEVER, I have been asked to remind everybody coming down to the green about the guidelines which are necessary for our safety, especially:

  •  Keep your social distance (whatever that will be by next week!) which will be a bit more difficult if you are playing Triples.
  • Avoid numerous people touching the mats and jacks, and other players’ bowls
  • Ensure that the mats and jacks are sanitised after each session (and preferably before you play) then returned to the correct places, i.e. mats on the bank and jacks to the box by the shed

REMEMBER, it is in everyone’s interest to keep safe – if you see someone forgetting to do the right thing, help them by giving a ‘gentle reminder’, because we all get it wrong at times!

The green will have to be closed immediately to all of us, should the worst happen because we do not adhere to the guidelines, and someone does go down with the virus!

Best wishes


How To Book A Rink….


We all want our members to be able to play bowls once again, but this must be done safely and securely to ensure the health and safety of everyone.  Do not go to the club if you are experiencing any coronavirus symptoms or any cold or flu-like symptoms. Use the NHS 111 website or helpline to seek advice. For your own protection, follow the advice about self-isolation if you are, or are living with, someone in one of the vulnerable groups stated by the government. The club cannot take any responsibility if you decide not to follow the government advice, regarding those over 70 and those with underlying health conditions.


  • Go to the club website ( & click on ‘Booking’in the menu
  • Click on ‘month/week/day’ (I find it easier to look at ‘day’ where the sessions are clearer)
  • Choose time and rink – these will change each day.
  • Either choose ‘create an accountor ‘book without account’ (if you create an account then you only have to login each time you book, rather than completing all the details each time)
  • Click on book’. It will then say your reservation has been processed’
  • You will then receive an automatic email to say that your reservation is pending and your request goes to the Administrator. Members should then receive an email within 24 hours to confirm whether the booking is accepted or not.


  • You must use the online booking system at least 48 hours beforehand, to book your choice of time. Do not just turn up at the green in the hope that there is a spare rink not being used. Please do not book more than two sessions per week and do not book the same session each time.
  • Rinks will be available for 90-minute sessions between 12.15pm and 7pm.
  • Do not arrive at the green more than 5 minutes before your allotted time.
  • The rink markers/numbers will be sanitised and set out for you before and collected in at the end of all the sessions. Do not touch or move the rink markers/numbers before, during or after the game.
  • You should only play by yourself, with people from your own household or, with one other person NOT from your household, as long as you stay two metres apart.
  • Two mats will be available – please sanitise before and after your session (off the green!)
  • Two jacks should be used, available from boxes on the side of the front shed facing the club wall, which you are advised to be set by one player only throughout the game.
  • The clubhouse must not be used, except in case of emergency, such as first aid, defibrillator, etc.
  • Avoid using the toilets at the club, wherever possible but, if you have to use them, please clean anything that you have touched and take any used wipes home with you.


  1. Sanitise the mats (off the green!) and leave them on the bank.
  2. Sanitise both jacks and return to the box at the side of the front shed after cleaning them.
  3. Ensure that you sanitise the boxes for the jacks, gate-catches and any doors touched.
  4. You must leave the club no more than 5 minutes after the allotted finish time to avoid contact with others coming in for the next session.
  5. Ensure that the gate is closed properly, with the latch securely on and that the club is as secure as applicable. There is no need to lock the gate. Any litter should be taken home with you.


Green Update

Hi Folks

I am delighted to inform you that the green will be open from next Monday, 8 June, and sessions will be Monday to Saturday from 12.15pm to 7pm, which will give us the mornings to do any green maintenance. 

Please abide by the guidelines that you have been sent and you must follow them if we want to keep everyone safe, and I advise you to carry these guidelines with you, when you go down the green, so that you can follow them step by step to get things right. Again, you are advised to bring your own sanitising sprays and wipes but there will be some there already if you forget.  There is an online booking system which must be used – instructions are on the guidelines sheet also. It all makes perfect sense to me (of course!) but if you have any queries, please do not hesitate to contact me by email or phone (07989 287543).

Initially, you will only be able to play Singles games but the committee will be reviewing this at the end of the first week (Friday 12 June) to decide whether we want to extend it to be able to play pairs and/or triples as well.

I hope that you will enjoy the opportunity to have a roll-up but, should the worse happen and you or any of your household do catch Covid-19, please inform me immediately so that we can take action to safeguard everyone else.

Best wishes


Newletter 31-05-20 and the odd Joke…

Good Morning,

I hope you’re all well and enjoying this amazing weather. Sorry, but I really would like some RAIN!! Every evening it’s taking me ages to water the vegetables, AND the lawn is slowly disappearing!! I’ve got Green Thumb coming soon, and they’ll be telling me I need to put the sprinklers on!!

Any gossip?? Been anywhere nice? Any good takeaways? Any jokes? Quizzes?

We went to Yarmouth one day last week. Exciting eh? It was like a ghost town! No ferries running, no shops, no Post Office, hardly any people!! There we were sitting on a bench drinking coffee, and the only two people in Yarmouth walked right next to us!!! What is wrong with some people?? We wrongly assumed they would walk around the bench!!!

Thank you to all those who have left square pots in my drive!! I do have a few plants for sale if anyone is interested.

Chilli Plants … Demon Red …. HOT      8

                     ….Habanero Orange ..FIERY HOT    6

                     ….Serrano Tampigueno …..HOT     3

Sweet Pepper…..  Poupila    6

ONLY 50p EACH.. they are quite small but good little plants! They will need some tender caring!!!

First come first served!! Call me :  07890265946


I hope all the plants you’ve bought are growing well? 

Last night the Committee had it’s first ZOOM meeting. You know what, I never realised what a beautiful / handsome group of people we are!! I was tempted to iron my first shirt in 12 weeks, but changed my mind. It was quite an experience!! Well run by Steve Morris and we all behaved and listened to each other!! We needed a break to refill our water glasses, but it was a good meeting. I’m already looking forward to our next one!!  (How sad am I? )

Brian Knowles is typing up the minutes at this moment, so I’m sure you will hear what was decided very soon!!

Last Thursday night, Sylv and I sat in the garden at 9.30 pm to see the Space Station go over and at 9.50 pm the American Rocket to go over!!! I promise you I only had one can of Magners, but what rocket?? It wasn’t even bloody dark!! NOTHING !!! I looked on my phone to check timings, only to read it had been cancelled due to poor weather !!! Now I’ve got to drink another Magners tonight !!! So if you’re not busy, TONIGHT at 8.40 pm look towards the SOUTH WEST and you’ll see ACTION !! At 10.15 pm a bloody great rocket will fly over your garden !!! If it’s cancelled again, I’ll light another fire and let off a couple of fireworks !!!

Heh, next week we are inviting people into our back garden!! Yippee!! Frustrating not being able to see children and grandchildren, but we are all in that position!! Until we can stay over, can’t really travel 4/5 hours each way, not be able to cuddle anyone. Still, ONE DAY !!

FOOTBALL is on it’s way back!!! YIPPEE !! I’ll be watching 4 or 5 live games a day for 5 weeks !!! Mind you, Sky Sports are meant to arriving here on June 9th to install a new SKYQ box! Will I let a stranger into my house!! What if he touches something he shouldn’t And if he wears a mask, it could be Steve Lewis in disguise!!!

Bloody typical that everything breaks down when you can’t get any help!!

1)  The first week the grill on the oven packed up!!

2)   Our new front door will hardly lock!! It takes ages to lock, although I now have a technique! A lot of swearing does help!

3)   A leak in downstairs toilet … stopcock turned off, so just out of action!

4)   Think I’ve killed the Sky remote!!! If I had some nails it would be easier, but again a good swear helps!!!

5)   Last night I dropped my glasses and a lens fell out!! Could be a Jack Duckworth Sellotape job!!

ANYWAY, you know me …. never one to complain!!

A BIG THANK YOU to Jo Gibson for this weeks quiz! I’ve seen it before, can do a couple, but it’s a challenge!! 

A big THANK YOU to John Abrook and Liz Barsdell for the Quizzes they sent me. Watch this space!

NOW THE MOMENT YOU’VE BEEN WAITING FOR …. no, not the end !!! JOKES !!!!

When I was a young boy my father sat me on his lap and said, “Son …. someday we’ll have 2 chairs!”

My wife and I have been happily married for 2 years …. 1997 and 2018

Man shot 200 times with upholstery gun. Surgeons revealed he is now fully recovered!!

Leaving out full stops isn’t exactly a crime, but it can lead to a very long sentence!!!

Got a great new pen …. it can write underwater! It can also write other words as well!

I hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious!

You can’t lose a ” homing pigeon”. If you’re “homing pigeon” doesn’t come back, then what you’ve lost is a “pigeon”! 

I said to my wife, “People keep accidently asking me to buy meat for them” She said, “By mistake?” I said, “Oh, no way, not you as well!”

That’s it …. enjoy tackling Jo’s Quiz !! Oh, I forgot to say   WELL DONE MARGARET RYLANDS for completing both Dingbat Quizzes before I’d sent them out!! Not quite, but she e-mailed the answers, ALL correct in a very short time!!! Think Jo’s Quiz will be a bit more difficult!!

In the next week or so we might meet down the green. Take care and stay safe. Keep on talking to each other and looking out for each other.



Newletter 24-05-20 and a couple of Jokes

Good Morning,

Can you believe it??? News Letter no. 10!!!  How many more of these will you have to put up with???  Worry not ….. I’ve got new ink cartridges and reams of paper!!! I can last until March …. 2021 !!!  2022!!!

I hope you are all well and getting as much exercise as you need!! I’m not a Boris critic, but do think it was a massive mistake to let people exercise as much as they want and go where they want. The scenes in Cornwall are horrendous!!! The beaches are PACKED!! AND with no toilet facilities, I’ve read some disgusting, unhygienic reports!!

I hope you’re all eating well and looking after those plants!! Many thanks to those who have returned my pots!! I planted early potatoes on the 20th March and 60 days later, yesterday,  we had our first new potatoes!! I know a certain Mr Blenkinsop beat me to it, BUT … WOW they are delicious!!

My second fire was another warm evening!!! There I was, sitting on my bench, drinking a cold cider and minding my own business, when a bloody fox walked right in front of me!!! No social distancing, BUT I screamed so loud, I don’t think that fox will be back for a few days!!! He’s probably looking for a toilet himself!!

Been out walking most days this week. Flask of coffee and a biscuit down at Gurnard. Lovely. People cross over, everyone speaks to everyone but you have to have eyes in the back of your head!!! I reckon I need wing mirrors! People just seem to appear from nowhere!! Joggers and cyclists are the worst!! That reminds me, Steve Morris cycled past us one afternoon!!!

Spending a fortune on hand cream but why put aftershave on??? Unless you pour a bottle over your head, who can smell you at 2 metres!!!! The Tesco delivery man must wash in it, because after he’d left last Tuesday, the porch stank of it!!!!

T.V continues to be a let down. I did watch a bit of the German football last week, but I was bored by half time. If you don’t care who wins, if you don’t know any of the players, and there is more atmosphere down our green on a Saturday afternoon, what do you expect!!! I’ve paused my sky sports so was surprised to get last weeks football. Can’t get it anymore. If you’ve got Sky Sports don’t forget to phone up and pause it …. why pay money for nothing!!!

Think we are all saving money at the moment. What I’m saving on alcohol I’m watering my garden with !! It’s been so dry and I think I’ve watered my vegetables almost every night. I’m not sleeping very well. Loads of people are saying the same. It’s weird isn’t it? I watched Question Time this week until nearly midnight, but still woke up several times during the night!!

As you may already know, the Committee are having a ZOOM meeting next week. There are so many decisions to be made. I hope you’ve all replied to Brian Knowles to let him know if you are likely to be bowling in the near future. Once we’ve had this meeting you’ll be informed of what can and cannot happen. There is a bit about bowls on the Isle of Wight on the back cover of this weeks County Press.

True story this …. a young female friend of mine has taken up gardening!! I can’t name her because a few of you know her. She’s a lovely person and really into growing vegetables. She’s constantly asking my opinion and calls me Monty … the gardening chap!!! Well last week she was texting me and at the end of her text, actually it must have been VE Day, she texted ….. Get dogging for victory!!!!!

Bloody hell, I thought Steve Lewis had nicked her phone!!!! (I think she meant DIGGING!)

Are you still doing housework?? Some friends phoned yesterday and asked if they could have a “drive chat” ? They drove to our drive, brought some Welsh cakes and we chatted!!! No need to hoover lounge! No need to pick up knitting (not mine!) I considered brushing down the drive, put a few pots straight, pull up a couple of weeds!!! Weird isn’t it!!

Thank you to Mr Greg Pullar for sending me 2 more jokes!!! Brian Knowles and Greg are the only two people allowed to criticise my jokes!!! If your jokes are better, and surely they must be, e-mail them to me !!


Greg’s jokes ….I am also learning the hokey cokey. Not all of it. Just the ins and outs!!

                     ….  I have had to change one of my online passwords and it has to be eight characters. So I have picked Snow White and the Seven dwarfs!!

As I was getting into bed she said, “You’re drunk!” I said, “How do you know?” She said, “You live next door!”

My wife says that I only have 2 faults. 1. I don’t listen  2. Something else

My brother plays football for a team called the Musketeers. They started the season well …three wins and a draw. all 4-1 and one 4 all 

Paddy wanted to sell his car so his mate told him to wind the mileage back a bit, and he would get a better price for it. He saw him a few days later and asked how he’d got on. Paddy said when he finished winding it back it only had 7000 on the clock, so he decided to keep it!!

Sylv. said to me I’m going to attack you with the neck of my ukulele!! I said, is that a fret??

I’ve finally managed to cure my dry skin problem …. I’ve stopped using towels !!

I wonder what my parents did to fight the boredom before the internet. I asked my 17 brothers and sisters, and they didn’t know either!

My wife is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with wearing different clothes every half an hour!! I said, “Wait …. I can change!!”

I belong to a family of failed magicians  ….. I’ve got two half-sisters!!

and finally ….

As I handed my Dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said …. “You know, one would have been enough!!”

Please take care and stay safe! We will all meet up again one day … that’ll be some party!!! Keep talking. We are the best Bowls Club on the Isle of Wight, and we are here for each other! Have a good week!!


Message from Alan

Hi Folks

I trust you are all well and have been keeping to the government’s guidelines, getting bored by the minute, but the only consolation has been the weather being so good. Well, yesterday I went down to our green and was amazed at how fantastic it looked, thanks to a half dozen or so members, who have given up their time weekly and, in a couple of cases, daily, to to do the general maintenance.

Now there has been a minor relaxation on the guidelines from the government, I am asking if there is anybody able to give a little time each week to assist, as there are a few jobs which need attention, therefore more hours required. I would not expect anyone who is in a high-risk category to volunteer and a two-metre distance would be maintained at all times. Members, who are able to help out, please contact Brian Blenkinsop for further instructions.

Hopefully, we may be bowling again in the near future but firstly the committee has to provide the necessary safety equipment and rules which will include a booking system.

I look forward to seeing you all again in better circumstances. Keep safe.

Alan Mabey


Newsletter 16-05-20

Good Morning,

Well it’s morning at the moment … might be the afternoon before I get it finished!!!

How are we all?  Strange, because I suspect small groups of all of us are keeping in contact with close friends, whereas no one knows how we all are!!

It’s still the same isn’t it ?  What else can you do all day ? Gardening is great if you are fortunate enough to have a garden, and if you are able/interested enough to spend 9 weeks in it!!

I’ve just taken down a dead tree! I love using a chainsaw!! I feel confident and safe, I don’t take risks and it was going so well until Sylv arrives!!! Then she panics, tells me to be careful, not to do that, “Here put these goggles on”, Ooooh!! Then I’m a bloody nervous wreck, too scared to cut my finger nails with a pair of scissors!!!!

Anyway, it’s done!! I had a  tremendous fire last Thursday night! Did anyone see the flames!! My poor tomato plants had a bit of a roasting, and the greenhouse glass warmed up a bit!!! I was sitting on my bench, like a Cornish Pixie, watching the fire and enjoying a can of magners!  It was gone 10.00 pm and not one fox or badger appeared!! I’m going to have one last fire tonight so go out into your gardens at 10.00 and look for the sky being lit up!! Those garden incinerators are good aren’t they!!!

FINAL mention I promise, BUT a big THANK YOU TO ALL who kindly donated. Sylvia raised £865 for the Hospice, and I raised £249.20 for SMILE by selling plants!! Isn’t that fantastic!!

I hope your plants are growing well. I put most of my tomatoes out last weekend!!! Think I got away with it!! The last few, plus courgettes and squash plants, are going in today!

PLEASE, PLEASE, if you are passing could you drop those beautiful square pots back to me. I’d normally invite you in for a coffee but this year …..


I wonder when we will get down to our bowling green again?

The Committee are meeting to discuss what could/should happen!!  A good job my hair is growing back, as we are planning one of those ZOOM evenings!!! Must iron a shirt!!! That’s something I’ve not done for 8 weeks!! Sylvia has a zoom ukulele meeting twice a week!! No matter how many doors I close, “Oh When the Saints” still seems to squeeze in under the bloody door!

Should be most helpful for planning the way forward, and probably entertaining!!!


I’m going to watch FOOTBALL on TV this afternoon …. B Dortmund  v  Schalke !!   KOMM SCHON WOLFE !!!

(That means, “Come on Wolves!!”)

I’ve given up with TV!  Enjoy The A Word on Tuesday evenings, EMMERDALE is everyones’ favourite, and Would I Lie to You is always worth a watch And of course, Gardeners World.

Has anyone had any good Take-aways?  Last night we had our first one. Really good food from NOVO in Newport. Free delivery if you spend £25. PHONE NUMBER: 641489. Look at the menu on their website. Any other suggestions? 

Stay safe


Belated Newsletter

Good Morning,

How are we all this beautiful weekend? I hope you’re all well and prepared for another 3 weeks of lockdown!! I know it’s only my opinion, and everyone I talk to has a different view, but I hope that we don’t rush out of this and regret it forever! I’ve still got plenty to do and if I get stuck I’ll watch Gunsmoke or The High Chaparral!! I’m sure Robbie could recommend a few war films!!!

Do you get mixed up with the days?? I don’t have a clue anymore!! No pattern, although I do write this newsletter on a Saturday … is it Saturday today???


I have sold 213 plants !!! The last few I put on my drive and they went instantly!!! The last four Brian B very kindly agreed to let Mr Gustar have! I always said what a nice man Brian B is!!!

Now my Maths is good, so 213 plants at 50p each is ….. £224.20 !!!! ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!!! and all that goes in our SMILE CHARITY BOX!!!  You have all been SO, SO generous!!! I Now I hope they all grow and you have bumper crops!!!

My greenhouse is planted up, and the others are hardened off ready to plant out ….. but be careful, as the weather this Sunday and Monday is COLD and WINDY, so I’m waiting until next Tuesday!

AND … I will have a few hot chilli plants and peppers for sale in a few weeks  …. watch this space!!



Sylvia completes her Walk the Wight tomorrow morning! I have to say how impressed I am with her commitment, effort and dedication to such a good cause. Every morning for 30 days she has walked, run, jogged, hula hooped, stretched, looked in the kitchen window to see me making my boiled eggs and soldiers, watched me wash up, and still she hasn’t stopped!!! A TREMENDOUS EFFORT! Watched and appreciated by regular walkers and neighbours!!!

Once again we have been overwhelmed by your generosity … she is walking again in memory of Fred Blackwell’s daughter Mez. THE TOTAL RAISED SO FAR IS …. £830 !!!! A massive THANK YOU to all who donated!!

Sylvia has been in touch with a lot of you to say a personal THANK YOU. If she’s not been in touch yet, she will. Obviously if you donated anonymously it will be difficult, but A BIG THANK YOU!

If you haven’t donated and would like to, it’s not too late. I’m sure the Hospice will not collect the usual massive amount as there is no Walk the Wight, and it is an amazing charity. THANK YOU.

 Any other news or gossip?

Sylv cut my hair again yesterday! She’s getting more adventurous and silver locks were flying everywhere!! Who said GREY? I got a bit worried when she said. “Your hair is easy to cut, nobody will know if I make a mess of it!!”

HAND CREAM …… Does anyone else use this??? After washing my hands about 40 times a day, I was horrified to see my hands were dry and splitting near the knuckles!!!! NOW every night before I tell Alexa to stop, I rub hand cream into my hands!!! At the moment I’m using ” Soaper Dupa, Super light, marvellous, magic moisture HAND CREAM with fruit smoothness, coconut water and kukui oil !!! BLOODY GOOD STUFF!

BUT ….  I’ve bought some new stuff !!! “Garnier, Skin Naturals, HANDREPAIR! ” and this stuff has got maple sap extract and glycerine!!!  I hope this is as good!

Can you recommend anything? Think I need to contact the AVON LADY !!!!

Anything good on T.V. ? I’m pleased that The A Word is back on! Emmerdale keeps me ticking over, and who knows, we might be watching German Football live on T.V. soon !!!

A continued THANK YOU to all those who work on our green. I’ve walked down a couple of times and they are doing an amazing job. Would have helped, but I’m watching my hands!!!